she wont lay the eggs if the male wont fan them. The male has to be willing to fertilise them. Eggs get kicked out when the male gets spooked, or stressed, or becasue the sticky coat on the outside is not strong enough. if she is looking gravid and the male doesnt want a bar of it then she will reabsorb the eggs and save the energy for later. There is nothing you can do to force the male to cave up. sometimes you just have to let the male have a break or allow him to start breeding when he wants to.
the one thing you can do is provide him with a selection of caves just incase the reason he is not caved up is that he doesnt like his current cave.
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